I'm Backkkkk

Wow. It's been quite some time since I wrote on my blog. Sorry I've been MIA.

I did take a week vacation after the last time I wrote. And let me tell you, it was much much needed. I slept a lot, and pretty much just hung out. I didn't have any place outside of the state to go... but that's ok. I went to the beach, went out to eat, and hung out with friends :) It was nice to get away!

Ever since then though, I've kinda had a writer's block. It's really strange. Like although a bunch of stuff has been going on, nothing too important, but I'm not sure how to express myself in words... This has really affected my work too... since I'm a writer. I feel like I need another vacation. lol.

Friday IS almost here, on a good note. I hope tomorrow goes by quickly. My brother is sleeping over tomorrow night which I'm excited about. He is taking the MCAT's Friday early morning and my apartment is way closer to where he lives... so he wanted to save time in the morning and leave from here. It should be fun.

I'm really close to my brother. He is a crazy guy, and makes me laugh. And even though he can have a very bad temper, and doesn't take criticism, or opinion for that matter, very well, he is still a sweetheart and has a very good heart.

Oh well, I'm calling it a night. I've been tossing and turning with a lot of thoughts recently, and I have been losing sleep because of it. It takes me FOREVER to fall asleep at night, so I've been getting 6.5 hours on average a night... It might seem a lot to some people, but for me, that's not much. I need like 8 hours to be OK throughout the day. lol.

Good night :)

Long Needed Vacation Is Almost Here

For my one year anniversary, I took a week off from work. Awesomeness. I was originally hoping to go somewhere for it, but I don't think that's going to happen right now because let's face it, we don't really have the money to spend at a hotel right now, or doing any excess shopping, which I know I will be tempted to do if I get out of town. LOL.

So my husband and I have decided to stay in town, and just relax. Do some BBQ'ing, go to a lake, and things like that. Hopefully it will be the much needed break I've been hoping for. I need to just get away from work for more than a day.

I really wanted to go to New York sometime this year. I feel like no matter how long I live here in Michigan, my roots will always go back to New York. If I close my eyes, I can smell the summer there...listen to the honking, the people, the different conversations going on in various languages. I can close my eyes and pretend to be there, but it makes me miss the city ten thousand times more. I guess you can never take the city out of me.... Even when we went to Chicago, I was sooo disappointed. It was NOTHING like New York, which everyone told me it would be. Not even close. So I think one of the reasons I've been kinda down lately, is because I miss that place.... I'm super homesick... And I don't know what to do about it.

Speaking of homesick, I also really miss Austria. Before my grandpa died two summers ago, I used to visit Austria at least every other year. It's amazing there. So gorgeous. And just a whole different atmosphere.

I don't want to hate on Michigan, because I admit it's a decent place. But there's no culture... there's no night life...it's all one-minded, so separated...You gotta pay to do anything fun.

Anyways, I apologize for having a few depressed posts recently. I promise I will break out of it soon. Hopefully this vacation will give me what I need....

Death Is A Dark Place

This morning, a very well-known leader for Shia Muslims died --- Sayed Mohammed Hussein Fadlallah. See, in our religion, we follow someone who is in a much higher position and much more well-versed in the religion's rules than us... and let him interpret our holy book, the Quran.... Fadlallah was known as the more liberal leader... especially when it came to women, which I believed was good, because we need someone who is more modern nowadays.

So I found out early this morning about his death (apparently he died from internal bleeding and had been sick for a while) from my friend who texted it to me when she found out. And for some reason, it was such a shock... and I'm actually feeling quite sad about it. I didn't know him personally, but I felt like he was doing something for the Muslim world, and despite allll the criticisms from the more traditional clerics, he kept going...

It also affected me deeply because I've been thinking a lot about death recently. No, I'm not suicidal... but about what happens to us AFTER we die. I know I'm not ready to die... not just because I'm young and feel like I still need to fulfill many things in life... but then again, I might just feel the same way when I'm 80... but also because I feel like I haven't done enough good things in my life...

In our religion, we believe that after we bury the body, we are tortured for our sins in our graves... scary, I know... And on the Day of Judgement, God raises our souls up and judges us for everythingggg we have done in our lives... And that is when He decides where we'll be spending the rest of our time... Hell or Heaven... Although, it is also believed that if we weren't such great sinners, we would pay for our sins in Hell, and then move up to Heaven.

But the scary thing is, once you die... there are no second chances... there is no way to turn back time and try to redo some of the stupid things we've done on Earth. Once we're dead... that's it. Our fate will be decided from there on.

I know everyone has different beliefs, and I feel that everyone's interpretation of death has truth to it... But in the end, all of our religions teach us the same thing... to be a good and moral person during our time on earth...and that we shall be rewarded or punished in some way or another for the way we lived.

But the question lies... no matter how much we do... are any of us really ready for death?

Weekend = Eyebrow Gash, Tornadoes

So Friday started out pretty slow and relaxing. I woke up at like 1:30 p.m. in the afternoon or so. Disgusting, I know... lol. Last week was exhausting though... That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!

Anyways, I chilled in my pj's allll day long till about 7 p.m. when I finally headed to Dearborn and hang out with my sisters like I promised (I took a shower before I left... just fyi). I got to Dearborn, took my half-sisters out to Starbucks with my husband. That was fun. Man they are growing up. I can't believe one is turning 16 next month, and the other 15 in October. Crazy!

So we got to my mom's house, where their mom was (we're a strange ass family)... and my husband started messing around with the older sister. He stood behind the door and scared her and she screamed and pushed the door on him. Not realizing his head was right at the edge of the door... This is the result:


Ouch... lots of blood, and bruising. Today he woke up and it looks like he has light purple eyeshadow on his left eye.... eek.

Saturday was more low-key. Hanging out with Starbucks with one friend, and then moving onto Panera with another.

Today was RIDICULOUS. There were reports of a tornado hitting down in a part of Michigan (Huron Township). Kept me SUPPPERRR busy at work! Woo, I'm exhausted.


Good thing that happened this weekend. GERMANY BEAT ENGLAND IN THE WORLD CUP. I'm not really into sports...but I do watch the World Cup every four years. And I root for Germany because really, it is the closes thing to my mom's country, Austria. Culture, language wise, and location wise. So yayyyy for Germany! :)

On another note, I need to get the hell out of Michigan. LOL. My husband and I will be celebrating our one year anniversary in July, and we originally wanted to go to New York... but because of financial reasons, that ain't happening. I guess I'm stuck here for a while... which is kinda depressing. It's kinda kept me down for a few weeks now that I don't get to go see my best friends, and just go to the place I love...

Wow... My Age Is Catching Up To Me

It's day 4 of my working out and watching what I eat. So far, don't feel too much of a difference when it comes to losing weight (I don't really have a scale, so I wouldn't know anyways). But I'm basing this on how I feel in my clothes. lol. I do think, though, that my metabolism is MUCH MUCH slower than even a year ago. I guess metabolism REALLY does slow down with age.

A year ago, I could lose like 5 pounds in a 2 week period... yeahh.... NOT HAPPENING NOW.

But where I do feel the difference is my ability to do more. For instance, in the beginning my ability to do push ups and squats was a little difficult, but I've uped them each to 30 times :) I admit, there was a strong burning in my arms and thighs, but that's a GREAT THING!!!

I'm about to have a bowl of Total cereal. This past week, I've had nothing for dinner but cereal and salads. So yay for me :) I have also avoided lots of sweets. Another yay for me :) I think I need to pat myself on the shoulder now *pat pat pat*. Let's see how long it lasts.... my diet and exercise, I mean... not the pat on the shoulder :P

On another note:

This week has been very exhausting... Work has been VERY busy. Especially today. We covered an earthquake that originated in Canada (5.0 magnitude) that was felt across the state. Wow, we had lines from callers RINGING offf the hoook at our radio station. Andddd... plus side, I got to go on the Top 40 station we work with and do a report about the earthquake. Woo Hoo! That was awesome.

We also covered our former Detroit mayor Kwame Kilpatrick. The man is spending time in prison already for violating his probation, and nowwww he's been indicted on 19 counts!! wow... that man is FUCKKKEEDDD.

Let's see what tomorrow brings!

Weekends Are Too Short

This weekend was a pretty good one. Kinda started out dramatic a little, but thank God that didn't last long.

I've been kinda down recently, don't know why. I guess there are just a lot of changes at my job, and people are tense, then there's always financial trouble. It kinda just adds up after a while. Oh well, I'll deal.

I went to Frankenmuth Friday and Saturday with my mom, brother, and husband. It was nice to get away from the Metro Detroit area. For those who don't know, Frankenmuth is this German town about 1.5 hours from Detroit. Very cutesie :) Here are some photos:

Turtle on Cass River (we paddled down the river)

Beautiful Hotel

Love it!

Another hotel :)

We came back Saturday and I went to my friend's brother's birthday bbq. Perffeccttt weather... Can we keep this weather please :) Thank you!

Other than that, I've been bad in keeping up with my new exercise routine. Today was the second time since my last blog... I put my ipod in my ear tonight when I got home from work, did my routine, and guess what, had a SALAD. Just some tomatoes, cucumbers, lettuce, and avocado, with ranch dressing.

I made some tacos for my husband and was soooooooooo tempted to have some, but I refused. So since I was tempted, I had a bunch of nectarines. Now I'm full.

The thing is, I eat so late, so I'd eat a taco if it was like 6 or 7 in the evening, but 10:30 at night... woo! Way too late. lol.

So let's see how well I do with my routine and how much I stick to it over time.

Will keep you updated!

Setting A Goal!

I am sitting here at 11:17 p.m. on my couch eating a bowl of cereal as my heart races at the speed of light. Why is it racing? Well, I just exercised for the first time in like what... a year? lol. Yes, sad I know!

I've finally decided to do something about my recent weight gain... I think not fitting into my favorite American Eagle jeans is what did it. I'm not fat, and when I tell people I want to lose some weight, they laugh at me.. Not because they don't think I can, but because they don't think I need to. But when ALLLLL your clothes are a size 4, and you can barely fit half of them, we have a problem. I refuse to get new outfits.

See, I am at a weight I don't like. I just don't feel healthy. I don't know if it was birth control, or getting married, or just the unhealthy work schedule I have (I get home at 8:30 and eat late), but whatever it is I need to fix it.

I am 5 foot 6 inches, and weigh 139 pounds. A year ago to this date, I was 123. That was a little too skinny for my taste. People told me I looked like a skeleton (I was really sick for a few months). But a short time later, I started putting on the pounds. My ultimate goal is to be between 126-128. That's always been a good weight for me.

And I just feel gross. I gained weight in my butt, hips, and thighs... A litttlleee bit in my tummy area...and of course I got a bit of the love handles going on (of course the LAST place I would gain weight in is my boobs.... go figure). So when I have a problem getting my jeans over my hips, and I have to lie down to close the button and zipper, that's just bad.

So today, I came home, changed into my PJ's, looked at my husband and said ok, I'm doing a nightly routine...

Here is my goal:

At least five times a week, I will do sit ups, push ups, squats, and run in place. (When I get a little more energy, I will run for real... in place will have to do for now).

So tonight I started with 15 squats since I have pretty strong thighs from dancing. 15 sit ups, which are quite easy for me as well... 10 push ups (OMG, tonight I died at like the 4th one. My arms are the WEAKEST part of my body), and ran in place for 2 minutes.

I may have to start with woman push ups, and move onto men... cuz it wasn't working out too well for me tonight.

Slowly, as I get stronger, I will up those numbers... hopefully double, and even triple them. But I need to dedicate myself to working out. I will also eat less for dinner... so I'm not going to bed with a pretty full stomach.

I am aiming to be at 135 in one month at least. Then down to 128 or so in 2 months. So by mid August, I should have hopefully lost the weight I have gained.

ON ANOTHER NOTE:

Whoever said tattoos are addictive was soooo right. It's not even been a week since I got my first one and I already want another tattoo... I'm trying to figure out the design and location and everything.... haha. No worries though, once I do figure it out I will wait a bit before my next one.

Alright, going to lay on the couch and watch some tv before I crash for the night.