I'm Backkkkk

Wow. It's been quite some time since I wrote on my blog. Sorry I've been MIA.

I did take a week vacation after the last time I wrote. And let me tell you, it was much much needed. I slept a lot, and pretty much just hung out. I didn't have any place outside of the state to go... but that's ok. I went to the beach, went out to eat, and hung out with friends :) It was nice to get away!

Ever since then though, I've kinda had a writer's block. It's really strange. Like although a bunch of stuff has been going on, nothing too important, but I'm not sure how to express myself in words... This has really affected my work too... since I'm a writer. I feel like I need another vacation. lol.

Friday IS almost here, on a good note. I hope tomorrow goes by quickly. My brother is sleeping over tomorrow night which I'm excited about. He is taking the MCAT's Friday early morning and my apartment is way closer to where he lives... so he wanted to save time in the morning and leave from here. It should be fun.

I'm really close to my brother. He is a crazy guy, and makes me laugh. And even though he can have a very bad temper, and doesn't take criticism, or opinion for that matter, very well, he is still a sweetheart and has a very good heart.

Oh well, I'm calling it a night. I've been tossing and turning with a lot of thoughts recently, and I have been losing sleep because of it. It takes me FOREVER to fall asleep at night, so I've been getting 6.5 hours on average a night... It might seem a lot to some people, but for me, that's not much. I need like 8 hours to be OK throughout the day. lol.

Good night :)

Long Needed Vacation Is Almost Here

For my one year anniversary, I took a week off from work. Awesomeness. I was originally hoping to go somewhere for it, but I don't think that's going to happen right now because let's face it, we don't really have the money to spend at a hotel right now, or doing any excess shopping, which I know I will be tempted to do if I get out of town. LOL.

So my husband and I have decided to stay in town, and just relax. Do some BBQ'ing, go to a lake, and things like that. Hopefully it will be the much needed break I've been hoping for. I need to just get away from work for more than a day.

I really wanted to go to New York sometime this year. I feel like no matter how long I live here in Michigan, my roots will always go back to New York. If I close my eyes, I can smell the summer there...listen to the honking, the people, the different conversations going on in various languages. I can close my eyes and pretend to be there, but it makes me miss the city ten thousand times more. I guess you can never take the city out of me.... Even when we went to Chicago, I was sooo disappointed. It was NOTHING like New York, which everyone told me it would be. Not even close. So I think one of the reasons I've been kinda down lately, is because I miss that place.... I'm super homesick... And I don't know what to do about it.

Speaking of homesick, I also really miss Austria. Before my grandpa died two summers ago, I used to visit Austria at least every other year. It's amazing there. So gorgeous. And just a whole different atmosphere.

I don't want to hate on Michigan, because I admit it's a decent place. But there's no culture... there's no night life...it's all one-minded, so separated...You gotta pay to do anything fun.

Anyways, I apologize for having a few depressed posts recently. I promise I will break out of it soon. Hopefully this vacation will give me what I need....

Death Is A Dark Place

This morning, a very well-known leader for Shia Muslims died --- Sayed Mohammed Hussein Fadlallah. See, in our religion, we follow someone who is in a much higher position and much more well-versed in the religion's rules than us... and let him interpret our holy book, the Quran.... Fadlallah was known as the more liberal leader... especially when it came to women, which I believed was good, because we need someone who is more modern nowadays.

So I found out early this morning about his death (apparently he died from internal bleeding and had been sick for a while) from my friend who texted it to me when she found out. And for some reason, it was such a shock... and I'm actually feeling quite sad about it. I didn't know him personally, but I felt like he was doing something for the Muslim world, and despite allll the criticisms from the more traditional clerics, he kept going...

It also affected me deeply because I've been thinking a lot about death recently. No, I'm not suicidal... but about what happens to us AFTER we die. I know I'm not ready to die... not just because I'm young and feel like I still need to fulfill many things in life... but then again, I might just feel the same way when I'm 80... but also because I feel like I haven't done enough good things in my life...

In our religion, we believe that after we bury the body, we are tortured for our sins in our graves... scary, I know... And on the Day of Judgement, God raises our souls up and judges us for everythingggg we have done in our lives... And that is when He decides where we'll be spending the rest of our time... Hell or Heaven... Although, it is also believed that if we weren't such great sinners, we would pay for our sins in Hell, and then move up to Heaven.

But the scary thing is, once you die... there are no second chances... there is no way to turn back time and try to redo some of the stupid things we've done on Earth. Once we're dead... that's it. Our fate will be decided from there on.

I know everyone has different beliefs, and I feel that everyone's interpretation of death has truth to it... But in the end, all of our religions teach us the same thing... to be a good and moral person during our time on earth...and that we shall be rewarded or punished in some way or another for the way we lived.

But the question lies... no matter how much we do... are any of us really ready for death?